rss feed
5.6.2007
“I feel like time is running out.”
…
The rain drips off the edges of the awning and makes comforting patter sounds on the pavement. Everything feels nice and slow. You play with your straw and i curl up my legs. It’s perfect, really, but it’s gone. Pushed behind that austere curtain hiding memories and secrets, it’s all relentlessly filed away by time.
The thought hadn’t really occurred to me until you spoke the words outloud. I watched them float out your mouth and bob suspended in the space between our heads. Just hanging around with nothing to do. And when they leave for greener pastures, I miss them. Just give me a minute? Can you please just give me a minute? I’m not ready and you keep pushing me forward and I don’t understand why we can’t just take a minute.
I watch the cars stroll by below while you recount our mutual coincidences and I have to admit, life has really been amazing. Did I tell you I found a $1000 bill on the ground yesterday? Just hanging around with nothing to do. And the day before I was actually saying how I was short money and needing to get paid.
It will never be like this again. Like the time before that. And the time before that. And the time before that.
Coming home today I suddenly had a vision of me in ten years, speaking to someone fifteen years my junior and lamenting how unfortunately aged I had become. I reminisced about my college years, but concentrated on the fact that I couldn’t wrap my mind around being that age. That age. That age that age that age. I couldn’t visualize it but now I can. And from here I look back at you but you can’t see me.
…
I can’t believe I’m really going to leave this life behind.
